I like it waaaay more than the angry-cupcake-wedding-gown Kate Hudson wore to her premiere. It’s kind of like a dinosaur! Or an expensive Christmas ornament! Or a Picasso painting he was embarrassed by …

My God, from behind, she looks more and more like Goldie Hawn every day. There’s something about the pushed-together thighs, right?

[Outside N.Y.'s Ed Sullivan Theater for The David Letterman Show]
Photo: HRC/WENN

It’s a movie called Bride Wars, so of course the competitive warring between Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway is still alive. Anne could’ve taken this — easily — had she not gone all Sigourney Weaver HAR-HAR-HAR MAN at her premiere. Kate would obviously do something “bridal” but with a dose of Maniac — see the cupcake wrapper around her waist. Anne, WTF? Where’s the hot-ass couture you’ve been sporting since you and the Italian sleaze parted ways? This makes me feel like I know how the movie ends …

[At the N.Y. premiere of Bride Wars]
Photos: Michael Carpenter/WENN

(No, no, of COURSE she's not the crusty little lady from 'The Incredibles.')

It’s kind of sweet that the dress doesn’t move, like, at all. But it could afford to lose some length — and lose the Mrs. Hogenson (à la The Incredibles) doppelganger thang.

[A the 2008 New York Film Critic's Circle Awards]
Photo: Flashpoint/WENN

I give it to Posh who’s reaching the circumference of a hula hoop. Meagan, who I can’t help but adore (thanks to her onscreen work), works the “anti-slut” thing in a fabulous, ironic way. She’s well-aware that leggings are not pants — something Lindsay Lohan’s thick skull can’t compute — so she goes for the highly underrated stretch fabric of: biking spandex. Yes. Full-length. Oh, and here’s where the irony comes in: SEWN-ON POCKETS.

Amazing!

[At the AC Milan team dinner at Dubai's Harbour Hotel]
[At Jamie Foxx's album release party at Miami's Karu&Y]
Photos: WENN; Johnny Louis/WENN

Poor Solange cross-weaved her own horrible, horrible kicks. Remember those odd little key chains we made as seven-year-olds? I had a hot pink ‘n’ lime green one, courtesy of my after-school life at the Boys & Girls Club. I gave it to a boy.

Who’s not shutting it down, but rather, stompin’ it up like she’s Chewbacca on the run is Rachel Zoe. Lord, her wedges are bigger than her stomach!

[At Jamie Foxx's album release party at Miami's Karu&Y]
[Shopping on Robertson Blvd. in L.A.]
Photo: Johnny Louis/WENN; WENN

(Eat my hay-hair!)

Four days ago, Lindsay Lohan allegedly got a haircut at the Andy Lecompte salon in Los Angeles. I call BS on Andy Le-boo-boo, because any sane hairdresser would correct Lindsay’s horse mane with a mandatory — and major — snip. Until then, Lindsay will traipse the States with her lesbian bystander and hay-hair getting stuck under her armpits.

P.S. Dress isn’t half bad.

[At Club Mansion in Miami]
Photo: Johnny Louis/WENN

(Get a real tattoo, little girl.)

Man, Katy Perry ain’t got a clue who she is. Besides kissing girls and/or gay boys and being friends with Perez Hilton, she ganks everyone’s look. Forever, she was a budget Zooey Deschanel. Now, she’s lifted Diablo Cody’s entire shtick like she’s some “classy” former stripper. Diablo, don’t bother — lemme tell her: You can’t “recreate” tattoos with heavily designed panty hose. Right bitches get inked the real way.

[At the Gridlock New Year's Eve party at L.A.'s Paramount Studios]
Photo: Dave Edwards/DailyCeleb.com

(But! But! I got him to not wear eyeliner!)

You’re not supposed to dye your hair while pregnant. But now that Bronx Mogs is a grownup, Ashlee is nursing her own bottle: bleach. Oh, how she missed thee fragrant fumes! I mean, to get this kind of blonde — stunning, by the way — Mrs. Wentz must’ve willingly chained herself to a salon chair as long as Pete sculpts each individual follicle on his David Cook-like head.

P.S. The blazer is dull. Way too Heather Locklear.

[Hosting PUREfection at Las Vegas' Pure Nightclub]
Photo: Judy Eddy/WENN